Joint Attention with Toddlers: What It Means (and Why It's a Important for Preverbal Skills)

It’s not just about what a child is looking at—it’s about a shared experience

Joint attention is one of the most foundational preverbal (prelinguistic) communication skills. In simple terms, it’s when a child and adult are both focused on the same thing—and they both know it. It forms a little triangle between:

👶 The child

🧑‍🦰 You

🎈And the shared object, event, or experience

Some early skills that might show you that a child does have joint attention are:  smiling back at a caregiver, reaching for a toy that someone has, playing simple interactive games such as tag, bringing objects to show caregivers, responding to the communication of others with eye contact, and following a parent’s gaze.

Early in my years as an SLP, I remember how much emphasis was placed on joint attention, but it was a more rigid form of attention than I look at now. I looked at eye contact in particular. We prompted. We waited. We even gently sabotaged—moving toys just out of reach or pausing a game—hoping to spark a moment of shared focus. This technique sometimes worked, but it didn’t always feel right. Especially when the child wasn’t enjoying it, and neither was I. Some tears and tantrums later, I found an easier way!

Over time, I’ve come to view joint attention differently. It’s no longer about checking off a skill on a developmental list. It’s about connection (actually EVERYTHING is about connection first!)

The key part? The child shifts their attention between you and the object (with their eyes, their body, or even a gesture) and includes you in that moment. It’s not just about what they’re looking at—it’s about sharing the experience- that connection that I was talking about!

But here’s something I want to say loud and clear:

Joint attention doesn’t have to look the same way for every child. It is important that it happens, but it may look different with a neurotypical child than with neurodivergent child or an Autistic child.

A child doesn’t have to make perfect eye contact or point like we may expect. They might pause when they hear your voice. They might hand you a rock or smile when you start their favorite song. That’s still joint attention. That’s still communication and still connection.

Joint attention is one of the earliest ways children learn to connect, to notice what we’re talking about, and to begin attaching words to

their world.

When a child can’t—or doesn’t—share focus with us, they miss countless chances to absorb language. Think about how much vocabulary is built when a toddler follows your gaze to a dump truck and hears: “Look! That’s a big dump truck! It is dumping the dirt out!” Without joint attention, it’s like that learning moment floats right past them.

Joint attention (along with turn-taking) is one of the key markers we look at when distinguishing a child who may have a speech or language delay from one who may have more developmental differences like autism.

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What Might Joint Attention Challenges Look Like?

Here are a few things I encourage parents and educators to watch for:

• A child seems “zoned out ” when you’re trying to show or share something

• They don’t look where you’re pointing

• They become laser-focused on a toy or screen and do not acknowledge anything else going on around them

• Simple social games like “Peek-a-boo” fizzle out quickly or never really get going

• You feel like you’re working hard just to get them to engage

If any of those sound familiar, know that you’re not alone—and these are skills we can nurture!

We don’t need fancy programs or high-tech tools. The most powerful thing we can do is meet a child where they are, and join their world.

What Can You Do to Build Joint Attention?

Here are a few ideas to start with:

👉 Join their joy: Are they spinning? Spin with them. Lining up cars? Get your own and join the parade.

👉 Match their comfort zone: Eye contact might feel too intense. Try sitting side-by-side and playing parallel instead.

👉 Pause with purpose: Don’t pause to demand a look or a word—pause to create a natural rhythm. A shared breath. A chance to connect.

👉 Use “Show-Hold-Give” routines: During daily routines like snack or diaper changes, model showing the object, holding it up to share, and then giving it to them. These routines create predictable, interactive exchanges.

👉 Keep turn-taking playful and fast: Early turn-taking games should have quick, silly back-and-forths that match your child’s developmental stage. Think: popping bubbles, rolling balls, or pressing buttons on a toy together.

Connection First. Language Follows.

The biggest shift I’ve made in my practice is moving away from performance-based expectations and toward engagement. When we focus on joint engagement rather than “perfect” joint attention, we open the door for authentic connection—and communication naturally follows.

If you’re curious about how joint attention fits into a bigger picture of early communication, I created a resource just for you. My Preverbal Skills Handout breaks down the 11 foundational skills that come before words—like joint attention, turn-taking, and gestures—and shows you:

✔️ What each skill looks like in real life

✔️ Why it matters

✔️ How to support it in simple, playful ways

It’s perfect for teachers, therapists, and families who want to feel confident helping pre-talking children move toward connection and communication. Click for a preview of the Handout kit, or to snag a copy for yourself!